It’s been several months since I’ve written on this blog, or written at all for that matter. I haven’t even written for my side hustles since January.
This year has been pretty crazy already…there’s been bushfires in Australia and now COVID-19. If that wasn’t enough I’ve miraculously managed to give myself more stress (but for the best reason)…by falling pregnant 🙂
The journey to now has been long and hard. Below I give you the story of my trying to conceive journey.
Deciding to ‘go it alone’
I have never hidden the fact that I wanted a child or that I was trying. It might not have been spoken about much here but it has been on my Instagram. Like all things I tend to do in my life, this was a little bit ‘abnormal’ or ‘different’. Unlike the majority of expecting women, I don’t have a partner. I’ve been single for approximately 6.5 years now and I chose to go into this journey of motherhood on my own, as a single mother by choice. The decision to take this step was never easy but something that I first decided about several years ago.
The decision to become a single mother by choice
I’ve always known that I wanted to be a mother. Like most little girls growing up, I just assumed this would be with a partner. After a few failed long term relationships and then being single for 4 years though, it didn’t look like I was going to meet my Mr. Right. I always wanted children before 30. Yes it’s young, but in terms of fertility after 30 things decline and it can become harder and harder to fall pregnant. I don’t quite remember when I started to look into doing this on my own. It was something I researched over several years and would often come back to for many reasons.
In August 2017, I first started to try with a donor. For privacy reasons I won’t go into anything to do with my donor. It’s my business and his only.
By the start of 2018, I hadn’t been able to fall pregnant. In February 2018, I landed in hospital with a bad kidney infection and then in March-April I participated in a charity event called the Tour De Cure and then straight after, I was a volunteer at the Commonwealth Games. This meant trying was put on hold for a few months.
I tried for a few months mid-2018 and it seemed that I wasn’t ovulating properly. I was using ovulation strips religiously to try and pinpoint ovulation but they were never positive. I did acupuncture for several months and took many disgusting Chinese herbs. I went to my GP and did a full hormone panel and blood work but found nothing that indicated anything major was wrong, aside from the fact that my cycle lengths were all over the page. I continued to try without success.
Did you know that the chance of conceiving each month for a healthy couple is only 25-30% under the age of 35, as there are only a few days each month that you are fertile.(source)
Near the end of August 2018 I was made redundant from my job, this meant once again, I had to stop trying. I wasn’t going to be pregnant and unemployed. As much as I wanted a child, I knew I wanted them to be brought up without financial stress. The redundancy ended up putting me in a great financial position. I found a job within a few months and was employed again from November 2018.
After a few months in 2019 I started trying again, knowing that if i did fall pregnant I would now be eligible for maternity leave at my new company. Before the point of being eligible there was no way I was going to try.
In May 2019, I found out that I was pregnant. Sadly I suffered an early miscarriage. I only knew about the pregnancy for a week before it was taken away from me. My GP estimates I was probably only around 5-6 weeks along before the miscarriage.
In June 2019, I had a pap smear and ended up getting my third abnormal result in a row (3 over 3 years). My doctor wanted to send me for further investigation and said it would be best if I stopped trying, because they couldn’t (or at least it was risky) to do the procedure if I was pregnant. So once again, I stopped trying. Due to public waiting lists I wasn’t able to have the procedure until October. After that procedure was done and my results came back normal, I started to try. This time with success…
and the result…
December 2019 ended up being my month and another usual cycle of trying worked this time. I had an inkling on Christmas Eve that it may have worked. This was before my period was due. On Boxing Day I got a positive test!! I was over the moon and also scared. After a doctors visit it was confirmed by blood that I was pregnant and the rest is history. It’s now mid-April and I’m currently 21 weeks which means I’m over halfway now!
I hope you’ve liked this little insight into my journey. Feel free to follow me on Instagram to see more. I just ask that your profile not be on private (or alternatively you can message me and introduce yourself) as I’ve locked off my page now for my own privacy.
One thought on “Why I’ve been gone…my trying to conceive journey”
Congratulations! Thank you for sharing a snippet of your journey. Wishing you and the baby well. ❤